Get to Know Pines

Well, howdy! If you’ve come here, you must have a personal question for Pines. Have a question about him? Have just a random question for shits ‘n’ giggles? Want to leave a nice comment (or a not nice one)? Here’s the place. Answer posts here will be crossposted to Pine’s Bluesky account.

Who the hell is Pines? Pines is (at the time of this typing) a 44-year-old married father of one. He’s clinically depressed, suffers from overwhelming anxiety, has some gender woes that make him fit equally poorly in the standard definitions of transgender and cisgender. You can use masculine or neuter pronouns (the bald head and big beard kinda invalidate the feminine ones). Pines’s Sapling is transgender, an adult, and off doing his own things. Pines and his wife live in Central-ish New Mexico with three cats of their own, two cats that belong to the Sapling, a dog of their own, and a dog that belongs to the Sapling. If that sounds like a lot, it is.

Pines is just kinda trying his best at being a human and a person, so please be patient with him.

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  • How does one break out a cat?
    by Pines
    Poison ivy would get the job done. Unless you mean “…from prison”, in which case, what is the cat doing in prison?
  • Also: how hard is the average poom?
    by Pines
    You know how observing an electron changes either its location or velocity depending on which you’re trying to measure? Attempting to observe the hardness of a poom can change its hardness.
  • How shard is the average poom?
    by Pines
    Most are pretty well intact. This one feels pretty shard most of the time.
  • How Shark is the average poom?
    by Pines
    Approximately 0% shark.
  • How sharp is the average poom?
    by Pines
    Just sharp enough
  • Is pines an anagram?
    by Pines
    I mean, any word is if you’re frisky. Spine, snipe, peins, penis…not a plethora of words, but something.
  • How does one break in a cat?
    by Pines
    Dinner and a movie is a good start.
  • What makes you purr?
    by Pines
    This one could lean NSFW real easy. The wholesome answer is: knowing I and my loved ones are safe and as happy as is reasonable. Drop a fresh, hot Navajo taco in front of me with slow simmered mutton, green chiles, pinto beans, and shredded cheddar all on a slab of fry bread, you’ll hear …
  • How to remove resin from fabric?
    by Pines
    This was in the…um…back section of the question and answer store, but you can get it without the black plastic bag since it’s not all that risqué. Soak it in isopropyl alcohol and scrub with grease-busting dish soap.
  • Where are you if you hear: “How much is the fish?”
    by Pines
    Either a fishmonger’s stand by the docks or a brothel with one mermaid on staff.
  • Stripes: who wears it better – Tigers or Zebras?
    by Pines
    Secret third option: thylacines. Love their little stripy jodhpurs.
  • Are pines always pointy?
    by Pines
    Are we talking silhouette or leaves? Pines have a broad range of grand-scale morphology, some positively round (think of certain low junipers and young piñons). Leaf-wise, most are pointy at some stage in their development. There are several (junipers are an example) who start out with scale-like leaves that only spread and become sharp when …
  • Is this a question?
    by Pines
    Depends on tone. The curly little punctuation at the end certainly implies that it is.
  • Coyotes of which age are easiest to sit?
    by Pines
    If you mean “sit” as in tend to, there’s no such age. If you mean “sit” as in train to sit on command, there is no such age.
  • Best way to get fluffier?
    by Pines
    Wash and blow dry, I imagine. Most critters’ll poof out with that. Other options: wait for winter coat to grow in, vitamins, talk to a fur doctor?
  • By which temperature do you consider a dog as hot?
    by Pines
    Average temperature range for dogs is 99.5–102.5ºF (37.5–39.17ºC), so anything above that range would make them a hot dog.
  • Best bird?
    by Pines
    Actual avian: corvids in general Furry friends: @jazzbird.bsky.social
  • Best to worst way to brew coffee (in your opinion)?
    by Pines
    I don’t hold any value judgments on the topic. Most of the time, I’m making coffee because I want to mechanically drink a hot beverage that contains caffeine. The ritual and the development of skill in brewing coffee isn’t a thin for me.
  • What kinda tea do you like
    by Pines
    I enjoy black teas and green teas, for the most part. Earl Grey tends to be a go-to black for me. Longjing is a lovely green.
  • You wanted to tell me about the wolf who invented the siren – can you do so now?
    by Pines
    Some called it awooed awakening, but Octavio Sirena knew he was onto something. It’s worth noting that his great, great granddaughter later helped develop the Yelp! establishment rating and review service.
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